Count the Stars
by chocolateee
Summary: The day Naruto stopped smiling was the day Sasuke realized something was wrong. And yet when he tries to talk to him...why can't Naruto hear his voice?
1. Realization

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Alright guys, here's what's been going on with me recently. I've been trying to find a story that I can finish and focus all my attention on. Voulez vous and Lavender were good at the time, but for some reason I can't help but want to move on a little…not to say those won't be updated, but I'm kinda craving something else at the moment. So I've been experimenting a bit with different ideas I might like for stories. Twisted has been taken down, it wasn't really getting the reaction I wanted and in all honestly, I couldn't think of how to develop the plot, so my apologies. I suppose this story is another experiment of mine. We'll see how it all plays out.**

**Prologue: Realization**

**---**

It was a bitterly cold day. Uchiha Sasuke leaned against the truck of a thick tree in a deserted part of the forest. He let out a deep sigh, watching his breath turn into white puffs in front of him. He pulled his jacket tighter around himself. He had never liked the cold.

He had discovered this spot a while ago, and found it perfect for a person like himself. There was no one to disturb him, no animals making weird noises, with even a small stream nearby. It was quiet and overall, very good for thinking, the reason Sasuke had come out in the first place.

Knitting his eyebrows together, the corners of his mouth turned downwards, in the expression of a slight frown. Things had been going perfectly for almost three years now. He had killed both Orochimaru and Itachi, and had decided to move onto his next conquest. He had then returned to Konoha, where he found a certain blonde waiting for him. Sure, it had taken quite a bit of persuading on Sasuke's part (and a punch that had his jaw sore for nearly a week), but he finally convinced Naruto to go on a date with him.

The two had been together ever since.

Sasuke loved Naruto with all his heart. All his life, he had never really known the true feeling of love. The fangirls that chased after him and all the people of the village who admired him didn't count. After his clan had been slaughtered, he chose to believe such an emotion didn't exist. He had _loved_ his brother…and a lot of good that did him.

But when he was with Naruto, he felt different. Whenever the blonde would flash that wide, goofy grin, or look at him with those piercing blue eyes, Sasuke's insides lit up. And it was then that he realized how much he cared for his best friend. He loved the annoying little comments he would make, he loved the determination in Naruto's face every time he announced he was going to become Hokage…

He loved waking up to the warmth of a body with hair as bright as the sun and eyes as clear as the sky.

_It would be our anniversary tomorrow_. That thought skittered through Sasuke's mind. Tomorrow, it would be three years exactly that they had been together. If he had known back then that Naruto and him would make it that long in a relationship, he probably would've jumped for joy.

But knowing that fact, now, he couldn't even make himself smile.

Because something wasn't right.

It had all started a few weeks ago, when Sasuke had returned from a long mission in the Mist Village. The whole thing had been rather blurred in Sasuke's mind, but he remembered thinking about Naruto and nothing else. How he couldn't wait to get back home and see his lover again…

But when Sasuke had returned to their apartment that they shared, he saw the blonde pacing back and forth, almost frantically. He couldn't even think of what was wrong. After all, he was home. They were happy. What could possibly be missing?

Sasuke had tried to ask Naruto what was the matter, but the blonde had continued his pacing, mumbling beneath his breath. After he had stopped, he seemed to be in deep thought, before muttering something Sasuke couldn't hear and heading off toward bed.

The Uchiha had watched in shock. Had Naruto just blatantly ignored the fact that he had come home?

That night, the blonde kept thrashing back and forth in bed. Sasuke tried to hold him but whenever he came close, Naruto would roll away. Finally, he gave up, rolling toward his side. He didn't know why Naruto was acting like this. It wasn't normal. He decided he would sleep on it and ask him in the morning.

When morning came, Sasuke found the blonde still fast asleep. He wanted desperately to reach out and brush those golden locks away from that slumbering face, but something in his mind held him back. He decided he would go train for a while, and when he returned, he would talk to Naruto about last night.

Sasuke trained. He punched and kicked and leapt. He had gone on a lot longer than he had originally intended and he nearly cursed out loud once he realized it was nearly noontime. Racing toward his apartment, he pulled open the door and called out Naruto's name. He got no response.

Sasuke brushed it off, thinking his lover had gone to see the Hokage or even went out with one of his friends for lunch. Deciding he didn't have anything better to do, he sat on the couch, awaiting Naruto's return.

Noon turned to afternoon.

Afternoon turned to night.

And still no sign of the blonde.

Around eleven o'clock at night, when Sasuke had dozed off a bit, the door opened and Naruto stepped in. Sasuke blinked his eyes open at the sound and took in the appearance of his lover, who, in all honestly, looked like crap. His eyes were watery and red, his hair limp and damp, and his nose sniffling every now and then.

Once again, Sasuke was shocked. Naruto had definitely been the more emotional one between the two of them, but even Sasuke couldn't remember the last time he had found the blonde crying. No, Naruto didn't ever really cry. He would get worked up, yell, argue some, stomp away angrily, but the Uchiha never remembered seeing him _cry_.

"What happened, Naruto?" He had asked softly, not wanting to scare the boy. The blonde turned to him, eyes still wet.

"Sasuke," he croaked out, voice cracking in the process.

"Naruto…I'm here. Please...tell me what's wrong." Sasuke inquired, voice not changing from its gentle tone.

Naruto said nothing this time. Instead, he dropped to his knees and fell to the floor, crying out Sasuke's name hysterically, tears pouring out of his eyes. Alarmed, Sasuke looked on, not sure of what to do. Naruto had never acted like this before. He didn't know how to react. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around the boy and comfort him, but something…_something_ inside was stopping him.

So, Sasuke looked on, his heart clenching and twisting painfully to see his lover crying so hard. Finally, after some time, the cries turned to whimpers, and then to nothing at all. Naruto picked himself up and walked slowly to their bedroom, closing the door slowly in the process.

Sasuke, still stunned, shook his head and got up after a few moments, heading behind the blonde. When he got to their room, he found Naruto already asleep with a few tears still leaking out the corners of his eyes.

Sasuke watched him all night long.

When morning came, he, again, tried to ask Naruto what was wrong. The blonde hadn't given him much of a response, something that sounded somewhat like a grunt. Sasuke took it that Naruto didn't want to talk about it again. Maybe it was something so bad the blonde didn't even want to remember it. So Sasuke chose not to pry. He chose to respect his lover's privacy and give him the space he deserved.

But days turned to weeks and Sasuke felt himself losing the connection he had shared with Naruto. The blonde had turned so distant, so fast, that Sasuke didn't have an idea what was going on or how to handle it.

Which led him to where he was now. He had still never figured out what had made Naruto so upset that night or why he was closing himself off to Sasuke. Raking his hand through his choppy, black hair, he decided it was time he talked to Naruto's friends to try and figure out what was wrong with him.

If there was one thing he _had_ noticed though…

It was the fact that Naruto no longer smiled.

---

After some searching, he found Sakura in the village cemetery, placing down a bouquet of pink flowers in front of a tombstone. Sasuke approached her, though the girl did not turn around to face him.

_What the hell would Sakura be doing in a place like this?_ He assumed she was putting flowers down for a member of her family that might've passed away recently.

"Sakura," he called out to her.

"Hello Sasuke," she responded quietly.

Before he could say another word, he sensed another presence behind him and looked to see Kiba standing in front of him, hands in his pockets. He saw Sakura turn around to face the two of them, and Sasuke could've sworn he saw a single teardrop fall from her eye. But if it was there, it had only been there for a split second, and before he could blink, it had vanished.

"Hi Kiba," Sakura greeted. Sasuke noticed her voice had changed to one that was more cheerful sounding than the one she had greeted him with.

"Hey," he nodded in her direction.

For a second, none of the three spoke. Sasuke had only come to try and see if Sakura knew what was wrong with Naruto. He and Kiba rarely talked ever, which might explain the lack of greeting he received from the Inuzuka. Finally, he saw Kiba shift ever so slight, almost…uncomfortably.

"You here again?" he asked, clearly directed at Sakura.

The pink-haired girl nodded, gaze shifting toward a different direction. "I'm usually here every day. Or at least I try. I mean…it's the least I can do."

Sasuke stood there, deep in thought. Who could mean that much to Sakura that she would be visiting their grave every day? He hadn't really stayed in contact that much with her these past couple of years either. They had been close, but he didn't go out of his way really to talk to her.

Again, before Sasuke could butt in, Kiba interrupted.

"I'm worried about him."

Sasuke's breath caught in his throat. _They're talking about Naruto. Both of them are his friends…they have to have noticed how strange he's been acting recently._

Sakura nodded. "I know…I am too."

Kiba dug his hands deeper into his pockets. "I mean I don't even know what I'm supposed to tell him. Sorry for your loss? No, that wouldn't even begin to cover it. He's just always been so…_happy_. I can't stand to see him like this." There was a pause. "I—I can't believe he's actually gone."

Sasuke's eyes widened. Why was whatever Kiba was talking about not making any sense to him?

Where had he been when all this had happened?

_Naruto…suffered a loss?_

It would make sense of course. That must've been the reason Naruto had been so worked up and distant these past couple of weeks. The only thing that Sasuke couldn't place was why the blonde chose not to tell him this.

"What loss? Who's gone?" He asked, panic lacing his voice.

The other two shifted away, not meeting his gaze. At this, the Uchiha became angered. Kiba and Sakura weren't helping him at all. In fact…it was almost like they were avoiding him. Avoiding him…

Just like Naruto.

"_What the hell is going on?!" _Sasuke let out, his voice rising steadily in volume.

"L-let's not talk about it, ok?" Sakura flashed a cheerful grin. It was clear she was trying to control herself and not burst out in tears at any moment.

"Argh, I'm sick of it! I _want_ to talk about it! Especially with Naruto! He can't just keep this stuff bundled up inside of him, it'll eat him up! He's one of my _best_ friends Sakura, I can't—"

"Stop! Please…stop." Her eyes flashed frantically toward Sasuke. "I'm one of his best friends too Kiba. It hurts. I—I know it does. I just…can't talk about it. Not yet. It's too soon." Quickly getting up to her feet, she wiped her eyes for a split second.

"I have to get going. My mother will be expecting me home soon. I'll see you around Kiba, ok?" Not waiting around for a response, she began to dash off. Then, as if remembering something, she stopped and turned her head over her shoulder.

"Goodbye Sasuke!"

Kiba simply shook his head as he watched her leave. Sasuke looked at the troubled expression on the dog-boy's face.

"Kiba—", he began.

"Man, I just don't know what to do anymore! Sakura can pretend things are ok, but they're not! Naruto…" his voice lowered. "Naruto…he's not ok. He's already stopped smiling. Pretty soon…" He trailed off.

Sasuke felt his chest constrict a little.

"I think I'll visit him tonight…see how he's doing." He turned around, before turning right back. He was quiet for a long moment.

"Later, Sasuke."

And with that, he walked off as well, leaving Sasuke alone in the cemetery, more confused than ever.

---

It was late by the time Sasuke returned home. Making his way into his apartment, he could hear voices coming from his bedroom. They were quiet at first, but then one became increasingly louder, while another turned into whimpers.

Immediately Sasuke recognized the two as Kiba and Naruto.

Slowly, he made his way to the bedroom, leaning in as the door was slightly ajar. He had never really been one for eavesdropping, but he felt that this time, it was for something important and he should listen in. Kiba's back was blocking his view of Naruto, but from the sound and urgency in Kiba's voice, he could tell something wasn't right.

"Naruto, stop it! You can't keep doing shit like this! You're scaring the hell out of all of us!" Sasuke saw Kiba trying to wrestle something out of the blonde's hand and when he pulled it away, the Uchiha felt his jaw drop.

Pills.

Naruto was taking pills.

"I just wanna die, Kiba. There's no point in living anymore." Sasuke saw Naruto try to reach for the pills Kiba was keeping out of his reach.

Sasuke felt cold fear flood through his body.

Why was Naruto trying to kill himself? 

"Fuck it Naruto! You're stronger than this! I know it! What happened to your dream of becoming Hokage?! You can't just give that up! You have to live, Naruto! You have to live because I know that you've been the light for so many people's eyes. You have such a good heart…and you've helped so many people. Me, Neji, Gaara—"

"Sasuke," the blonde interrupted.

Sasuke saw Kiba stiffen. "Sasuke too. Sasuke wants you to live on too. He wants you to find happiness and peace and do all those things you said you were going to."

At this point, the Uchiha, who had been behind the door the whole time, couldn't take it anymore. Pushing the door open, not caring if Kiba saw he had been listening in on their conversation the whole time, he took in the sight in front of him.

Naruto looked like a wreck, even worse than the last time the raven had seen him.

He probably hadn't showered in well over a week. His eyes were bloodshot, with large, dark bags underneath. He was looking pale, an extreme rarity for Naruto since the boy was naturally tan.

"Naruto," Sasuke choked out, "Dobe, please tell me what's wrong." He used the nickname he had given to the blonde on their first date. If Kiba seemed phased that Sasuke had just burst through the door, he didn't show it. Instead, he continued to coax the blonde.

"Naruto, you don't know how worried we all are about you. Me, Sakura, Iruka, _everyone_. Please…please stop acting like this. We want you back. We want…the _real_ you back." At this, the blonde had dissolved into tears, burying his face into his hands. Kiba backed off, realizing there was probably nothing more that he could get through to him. Instead, he simply patted him on the back gently.

"He had already taken some pills before I got here…it shouldn't be too bad though. If I had been even a few seconds later though…" Kiba whispered out loud. Sasuke nodded. The lump in his throat was making it hard to swallow.

"Thank you Kiba."

Kiba ceased his patting. "Just…be alright, Naruto."

With that, he took his leave.

Sasuke looked at the body sitting at the table in front of him. Naruto's body was shaking with sobs. He walked over and let out a soft sight. "Dobe…what happened to you? You used to be so much stronger than this. What happened to _us_? Why won't you let me in anymore? You were the one that taught me to let down all my defenses…what aren't you telling me?"

While Sasuke was talking, Naruto's eyes had slipped closed further and further. The raven reached out his hand to touch one of the blondes outstretched ones. Upon nearing it, he paused midway in the air as Naruto began to speak.

"Sasuke…come back to me."

Sasuke's gaze softened. "I'm right here…I'd never leave you."

The blonde furrowed his eyebrows, though his eyes remained closed. "No…why aren't you here?"

Sasuke's hand began trembling.

"I miss you…so much."

His hand wouldn't stop shaking.

"I…love…you."

Slamming his hand down, Sasuke's entire body shook. He let out a deep exhale of air.

A sudden revelation hit him.

He clenched his fists tightly.

There was somewhere he needed to be.

---

Making his way across town, Sasuke ran as hard as he could. He never remembered a time when he had used this much of his energy, except maybe the fight against Itachi. It felt good to have the night air whip through his hair, but deep down, in the pit of his stomach, he felt sick.

Coming to a halt in front of the long yard, he let out a shudder.

He was here.

The cemetery.

He looked up, locating the tombstone that he had been at earlier today.

The pink flowers were still there.

Slowly, he crept toward it, his breath hitched in his throat. A thought had been nagging him in the back of his mind…he had thought it was crazy at first, but slowly, as he thought about it more, it was starting to make more sense.

He halted.

From his distance, he could clearly see the name embedded on the tombstone.

He sank to his knees.

This explained everything. Why Naruto had been so unresponsive, why he couldn't get a solid answer out of Kiba or Sakura, and why neither of them had made eye contact with him…

_But how is this possible?_

He had thought his relationship was falling apart.

When in reality…the relationship was done to begin with.

Sasuke's mouth had gone dry, but he still managed to let out a strangled noise out of the back of his throat.

The name on the tombstone…

'Uchiha Sasuke'

He was dead.

---

**And that's the prologue.**

**Kind of sixth sense-ish I guess. Oh and if anyone is confused, when Sakura and Kiba were saying goodbye to him, they were actually saying goodbye to his grave…in all the situations that Sasuke's being talken to, they're not actually referring to him when answering the question…if that makes any sense…**

**As for how it happened this way and what will happen now, it'll all be revealed as the chapters play out.**

**Please review! I want to know if this is a good enough base to work with…**


	2. The Fortune Teller

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**I know…I know…it's been far too long.**

**Read first, kill me later xD**

**Chapter 1: The Fortune Teller**

**--**

Naruto awoke to bright rays of sunlight streaming through the window. He yawned and reached a hand up to rub at his eyes. With a smile, he looked over at the slumbering form beside him. Sasuke always looked so peaceful when he slept.

Tanned fingers reached out to touch a smooth, pale cheek, before tracing lightly along a strong jaw. Dark eyes furrowed slightly, and a hand reached up to swat away the other that was touching his face. When the blonde made no move to stop, ebony eyes cracked open, before shutting again.

"Mmmm. Leave me 'lone, dobe. Try'na sleep."

Naruto chuckled lightly, allowing the other man a few seconds worth of rest. When he counted to five in his head, he yanked a lock of black hair that, for some odd reason always stuck upright, hard. Sasuke's eyes shot open and whatever tiredness he had felt before was now replaced with irritation.

"What the hell?!" Before he could issue another complaint though, his lips were captured in a soft, loving kiss.

"Good morning to you too," said Naruto when they broke apart.

If Naruto thought that that kiss had softened his annoyance, then he was sorely mistaken.

"Good morning my ass," Sasuke grumbled, rubbing his head. "What'd you do that for?"

Naruto's smile widened. "It was the only way to get you up."

"That's a lie," Sasuke glared.

"Eheheh…so maybe it is. But, who cares? You're awake now, right? I accomplished what I was trying to do."

Sasuke sank back down into the warmth of the sheets. "God, I might be awake, but that doesn't mean I'm not still exhausted. Not everyone has endless stamina like you, dobe."

"Hey! You weren't complaining last night—and besides, it's not like you were the one taking it!" It was Naruto's turn to pout.

"Hn." Sasuke reached over wrapped an arm around the waist of his lover. He breathed in the scent of the man he loved while laying there for a few seconds longer before pulling up and snaking out of the bed.

Naruto followed suit. Making his way to the bathroom, he turned on the shower and waited until the steam filled the room. Stepping into the tub, he let out a small moan as the comforting water washed over him, relaxing his sore muscles. He smiled as he felt another presence enter the room and it was only too soon when he felt strong arms envelop him and a firm chest pressing against his back.

Sasuke nuzzled his head in the crook of the blonde's neck, while Naruto's fingers played in dark, wet spikes. Sasuke moved his hand up and down well-defined abdominal muscles before reaching a nipple and toying with it.

Naruto let out a small gasp, and felt his blood rush south. Behind him, he could feel that familiar hardness poke at him.

Turning around to face his lover, Naruto leaned in to kiss those soft lips, tongues swirling around each other. Naruto pulled back, only to immediately begin trailing kisses down Sasuke's neck, moving lower, stopping to lick at his nipples, before diving into his navel. Sinking to his knees, he eyed Sasuke's erection before placing a wet, open-mouthed kiss on the head. Smirking upon hearing the sharp intake of breath from the man above, he took the head in his mouth, sucking gently. Fingers entangled themselves in the blonde's hair and pushed his head closer to the throbbing heat.

"Na-Naruto! F-faster!" Sasuke grunted out, while trying to control his breathing as best as he could. The blonde responded by taking more in, increasing his suction. A hand reached to fondle, while the other went to take his own erection into his hand, jerking off hard and fast.

"Shit," Sasuke breathed out and released a long, low moan as he came. Naruto swallowed rapidly, loving the way the other tasted. He let out a moan of his own as he reached his peak and streams of white shot out of his cock. Pulling back, he placed one last kiss on the tip of the softened organ before climbing back up and capturing Sasuke's lips.

When they pulled away, this time it was Naruto who leaned his head against Sasuke's shoulder. The raven pulled his arms around him tightly.

"I love you Sasuke."

"I love you too."

--

"So…the festival's tonight."

Sasuke mentally groaned. The blonde had been trying to get him to go to the damn festival for the past week. Festivals had never really been Sasuke's thing. Why go out and surround himself around hundreds of chatting people and loud games and music? He would much rather keep Naruto locked in, all to himself.

"Dobe. I already told you. I don't want to go."

"Aw, why not?" Naruto took a break from his sixth bowl of ramen to question Sasuke. "Please, Sasuke? I think it'll be fun!"

"No."

"But, _why_?"

"Because I hate people," Sasuke stated simply. He had only finished one bowl and he was pretty much full. The only reason they were eating lunch at Ichiraku's was because he had promised he would treat the blonde.

Naruto scowled. "You don't hate people. You're just a bastard."

Sasuke shrugged. "I suppose that works too."

"Sasuke!"

"Naruto, why the hell do you want to go so badly?"

"Because I think it'll be fun to get out of the house! See some friends, have some drinks…argh, I just _want_ _to_! Just because you're an antisocial bastard doesn't mean I have to be one too!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying spending time with me is not satisfactory? Fine then, why don't you just go alone?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "God, don't be stupid Sasuke. I love spending time with you—I love you. But, it's just a festival. And it's just one night. I don't want to go by myself and be alone. I want to go with you. Let's please go?"

The raven internally winced. The blonde was practically pleading with him now. He still didn't understand what made the festival so important to him, but he supposed it was because Naruto loved social gatherings like these. And Sasuke loved Naruto. So, for Naruto's sake…he really should…

"Fine…I'll _think_ about it, ok?"

Naruto let a small smile form on his lips. That was better than nothing. "Sure, teme."

Sasuke glanced up at the small clock hanging on the wall of the ramen shop.

It was 1:35.

"Hey," Sasuke hopped off his stool, "I've got to get to the Hokage tower. I've got a meeting with Tsunade, remember?"

Not that he really wanted to go. He was sure she would have some stupid mission for him that he would have absolutely no interest in taking.

"Mm, yeah," Naruto replied with his mouth full once again.

"I'll see you later, ok?" He gave the blonde a peck on the lips before retreating to the tower.

--

_Let's just get this over with…_

Sasuke rapped sharply on the door and waited a few moments before he heard an "enter." Pushing them open, he was greeted by Tsunade, who had a scroll on her desk.

"You wanted to see me?"

Tsunade nodded, before snatching the scroll and tossing it at the Uchiha, who caught it effortlessly. He unraveled it and his eyes skimmed through the details of his new mission.

_Rank A…Land of Mist…_

Sasuke's eyes widened before he glared. "I'm supposed to be gone for 3-4 months?"

Tsunade nodded again. "We've heard some disturbing news from there recently—"

"—What sort of news?" Sasuke interrupted sharply.

Tsunade let out a frown of her own. "The details aren't entirely clear. Something about human experimentations and such."

Sasuke's glare deepened, if that was even possible.

"So, you're telling me, that I have to leave for _3-4 months_ to complete this mission that I have barely any information about?"

Tsunade sighed and rubbed her temples. "I know that this sounds ridiculous. But yes, that is what you have to do. And as for the time slot, it is simply estimated. It could only take a month to complete, depending upon any new information that is received."

She looked at the Uchiha, who looked beyond pissed.

"Look," she continued, "I know you're angry and I know you don't want to go. But, right now, you're the best we've got, besides Naruto, and as fate would have it, you've been chosen. Finish fast and come home fast, alright? Any new information will be forwarded to you."

Sasuke nodded, though the utter annoyance of the whole situation shone through his eyes. Turning on his heel, he walked out the hokage's office, making sure to slam the door shut.

--

Sasuke _loathed_ long missions.

He hated being in unknown territory.

He hated being away from home.

Most importantly, he hated having to spend months away from Naruto.

With a sigh, he made his way through the door of his home as night was setting. He found the blonde curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket and watching television. Sasuke lips turned up as he thought of how cute Naruto looked at moment. It was amazing how his bad mood seemed to almost dissipate when he was in the presence of the other.

"Hey, teme!" Naruto flashed a smile as Sasuke sat next to him and placed a kiss on his forehead. "What'd Tsunade want?"

Sasuke leaned his head back against the wall and let in a deep breath. Naruto, immediately sensing something wrong, sat upright and looked at the other with worried, blue eyes.

"What's wrong?"

The raven exhaled. "I'm going on a mission."

"Eh, well, that's not so bad, right?" Naruto smiled. "I thought it was something serious—"

"—I'm going to be gone for 3-4 months."

"Oh…" Naruto's smile falthered. "T-that long, huh?"

Naruto hated when he or Sasuke left for long missions.

He hated waking up and not being able to see the other.

He would miss those piercing eyes, that soothing voice.

He would miss the warmth that would usually be in the bed with him.

_Don't go._

The words left his mouth before he had even realized what he said.

Sasuke turned his head, at the words, to look at the blonde who, although just a moment ago was smiling brightly, looked somber now.

"Dobe…," he reached for Naruto's hand and tangled their fingers together. "If you really don't want me to go, I won't. I'll go back to Tsunade and tell her she can shove that mission scroll up her ass."

Naruto let out a laugh. His heart felt a little lighter. "No…it's your responsibility. You have to go." It was his turn to sigh. "I just wish…I just wish you didn't have to be gone for so long. I'll miss you, you know?"

Sasuke bit his lip. He was _so_ tempted to go back to the Hokage tower, but he knew that Naruto was right. He was a shinobi. He had to complete missions. It _was_ his responsibility.

"I'll miss you too," Sasuke replied softly. He felt the hold on his hand increase slightly and there was a look of worry in Naruto's eyes.

"Naruto…what's wrong?"

The blonde bit his lip. "I know that you and I have both gone on missions, some even longer than this. But it's just…I don't know…I have a bad feeling about this one."

Sasuke quirked a brow, but shrugged off what had just been said. He smirked. "So you're worried about me? Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it. And then, when I get back, I'm going to fuck you into the mattress."

Naruto gave him a challenging look. "Oh really? We'll have to see about that."

They sat in a comfortable silence as the tension that had once hung in the air disappeared.

"So when are you leaving?" Naruto asked.

"In three days." Sasuke clenched his jaw.

Three days. And then he'd be gone.

He pulled the blonde close to him. Neither said a word.

Suddenly, a thought struck Sasuke.

"Hey, dobe."

"Hm?"

"Let's go to that festival."

Clear, blue eyes widened. Eyes that were bluer than the ocean.

"Really, Sasuke?" he could hardly contain the excitement that overflowed in his voice. "You really mean it?"

Sasuke let a soft smile grace his lips. He would be leaving soon. It was the least that he could do.

"Yeah."

--

Sasuke and Naruto made their way through the large crowds of people. The air was warm that night. The village had really been decorated beautifully, with lanterns adorning the streets and shop signs illuminated in color. Children ran around, playing with small toys and trinkets, their laughs filling the air.

"Sasuke! Naruto!"

Both turned to see Sakura running toward them, pink hair flying in the wind. She stopped short in front of them and let out a huge smile.

"How are you guys? I feel like all three of us haven't hung out in forever!" She pulled them both into hugs.

Sasuke had to admit. He liked Sakura a lot better now than when they had been kids. She wasn't the same, annoying, obsessed-with-him, little girl anymore. She had grown up to become stronger and more mature He considered her one of his closest friends now.

"We've been good," Naruto replied, grinnig and rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry about not visiting you sooner. You can blame it on Sasuke."

"Hn," Sasuke replied. He wasn't going to deny that. He liked Sakura, but once again, he would rather spend a night alone with Naruto.

Sakura laughed. "How much work did it take for you to drag him out this time?"

Naruto let out a small laugh himself. "Well, it _did_ take lots of convincing. But he finally agreed to come. He's leaving soon; got himself a mission."

"Oh," Sakura said, while brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ears. "Well, I've got to go find Ino, but you guys have to promise to stop by sometime! Maybe after Sasuke's done with his mission, we'll all go out to ramen or something."

"Sounds good!" Naruto exclaimed cheerfully, giving her a wave and watching her run off. He then linked his arm through Sasuke's and dragged him toward the river.

They walked along the grassy road into a more secluded area, watching the water shimmer in the moonlight. Sasuke stood behind Naruto and wrapped his arms around the other's waist.

"You know…" Sasuke began, "this wasn't too bad."

"Ha," Naruto let out, "I knew that you'd have a good time once we got here."

They allowed themselves to indulge for a few minutes in the sound of the waves splashing against each other and the noises from the nearby festivities.

"Sasuke?" Naruto's voice was soft and gentle.

"What is it?"

"Promise me you'll come back as soon as you can."

"Hn, dobe. As if anything could keep me from coming back to you."

They shared a kiss that was deep and intense, both panting when they broke apart. Sasuke opened his mouth to say something before another voice interrupted.

"Yo, Naruto!"

Both turned in that direction, seeing Kiba coming over to greet them, Akamaru in tow.

"Man, I was wondering when I'd find you. Oh, hey Sasuke," he added as a side note. "Anyways, there's this huge eating contest going on and I totally thought I'd come and challenge you!"

"No way! There isn't a chance in hell that you could beat me!"

"Oh yeah, wanna bet?"

"Hell yeah, you're on!"

"Come on, follow me!" Kiba turned in the opposite direction.

It was then that Naruto remembered that he should probably be spending more time with Sasuke, since it had been his very idea to drag them both to the festival in the first place. He opened his mouth to decline but the raven's voice cut him off.

"Go on dobe. I'll come find you later."

"Aw, thanks Sasuke. You're the best!" He gave the other a light kiss before running off to follow Kiba.

Sasuke watched him go with a smile.

If Naruto was happy, then he was happy.

Making his way back to the festival, he wandered around aimlessly, stopping at various stalls and booths for entertainment. He passed by a rather dark area, with only one or two other people, having no real idea where he was going, when he heard a voice calling to him.

"You, sir…how would you like your fortune told?"

Sasuke turned around. There was an old lady, shuffling what looked to be a pack of cards. Sasuke couldn't see her too well, since whatever the hell she was wearing (he had no clue what it was) blocked out most of her features.

"No thanks," he replied stiffly. He had never believed in fortune telling. He thought the whole thing was a load of crap.

She asked again and she was met with the same answer.

The raven turned to walk away.

"Don't go. I believe I will have something to say of interest to you."

Sasuke sighed. Maybe if he just spent a minute with her and got his damn fortune then she would leave him the hell alone and he could go find Naruto.

"Fine."

He sat down opposite of her and watched as her shuffling increased drastically. Her hands were moving so fast that Sasuke was even having a hard time keeping up with her speed.

She began to lay the cards out, placing them in some special order. Sasuke noted that each card had some sort of weird symbol on it. Once all the cards were set down, the woman stared at them. Minutes crawled by, with Sasuke getting extremely bored.

The woman was making no move to speak, so he got up, beginning to walk away. He knew that this would've been a waste of time.

He had managed to walk about two steps when she finally did speak.

"You. You have a lover, don't you?"

Sasuke stiffened slightly.

"He is beautiful. Very beautiful."

He frowned.

""You are his happiness. He is yours."

This time, he fully turned around to stare at the woman.

"I feel for him…oh, how I feel for him."

He opened his mouth, only to shut it again, somewhat at a loss for words.

"You as well, though. I feel for you as well."

He was beginning to wonder if the old woman was actually sane or not.

"Two lovers entangled in a web. Everything is as it seems…and yet, nothing is as it seems."

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Sasuke hissed out. He had had enough. The woman wasn't making any sense and he wanted more than anything to just leave.

"Nothing is as it seems," she repeated.

And then she began to laugh.

Sasuke looked at her in a sort of stunned silence, not knowing what to do or say, almost paralyzed in a way.

She grinned toothily at him. "The cards have spoken, Uchiha. Your fate has been sealed."

He briskly turned around then and began to walk away, feeling a slight chill creep up his spine. He could still hear her laughter in his ears.

Suddenly, he stopped short.

His eyebrows knit together in confusion.

She had called him Uchiha.

She had known his name.

_How…how could she have known his name_?

He turned around and his eyes focused on the spot where he had just been.

But she was gone.

--

**Wow. I reallyyy wouldn't be surprised if everyone had to re-read the first chapter to remember what was happening since it took me forever to update.**

**Ok, so this chapter was a flashback basically of a few days before Sasuke leaves for his mission...so, before everything happened. And I know that everything seems confusing and there are lots of questions, some of which I don't even know answers to. I still don't know whether or not this will be continued or not. I only wrote this chapter as a way to see if I could really make this story work (and plus I felt bad for all the people that wanted this updated). Anyways, the plot still needs lots of work in my head, so I'll just have to wait and see.**

**If you guys really want to see this story updated, then please let me know! School's getting way too time consuming right now so my time is limited. If you do want it to be continued, then please be patient and I'll try the best that I can.**

**Reviews would be nice.**


	3. Guilty

**I don't even know if anyone is still reading this story. But if you are, it has finally been updated.**

**Chapter 2: Guilty**

* * *

_Present day_

* * *

Nothing made sense.

He was dead, right?

There was his name, etched delicately into the dark gray tombstone.

He looked down at his pale hands.

How could he be dead?

_Ok. Just think. Just think logically_. He racked his brain, trying to come up with some hint—some kind of clue that would allow him to fully grasp the situation he was now in.

_Everything was fine. Naruto and I had been fine. I took the mission from Tsunade to go investigate the Village Hidden in the Mist. When I came back…somehow no one can hear me and everyone thinks I'm dead._

Sasuke let out a sound of frustration. There was no fucking logical explanation for this.

The mission…

Whenever he tried to rack his brain in regards to details of the mission, the only image that came prominently to his mind was Naruto's smiling face. Despite Sasuke's best efforts, it was as though a chunk of his memory had been removed.

But why…how…the questions were endless.

Sasuke didn't know how long he remained standing in front of the grave, motionless. When he finally lifted his head up, he could see the first rays of sunlight illuminate the dark night sky. His eyes felt as though they were on fire, and he rubbed at them tiredly, wishing he could simply open them again and somehow escape this nightmare he had been put into.

"S-Sasuke?"

The Uchiha whipped his head around quickly, a faint spark of hope lighting within him as he locked eyes with the timid ones of Hinata Hyuuga. She was dressed in all black, with the exception of a white scarf wrapped around her neck. She was in her usual, timid stance. However, Sasuke noted that she was not crying.

The spark was immediately extinguished as he realized she was staring through him, not at him.

He watched as she approached him. She stopped short of both him and his tombstone.

"I don't know why I'm doing this." She began quietly. "I know you can't hear me. I know that you're…you're…" She trailed off.

Swallowing deeply, she began again. "I have always loved Naruto. He knew…you knew…everyone knew. I thought maybe there would be hope for me if I kept waiting…if I kept trying. I stayed with him while he anguished over you while you were busy fighting for your revenge. He always had hope, _always believed_ that you would return, even when most of us had given up. But that's Naruto for you, isn't it? He would never give up on the ones he loves."

"When you came back…I was really, truly heartbroken. Because I knew that any chance I would have with Naruto would be gone. He was angry with you, so angry. But I knew, just as everyone else did, that his anger would fade…that his love for you would overwhelm his anger." She stopped suddenly.

Sasuke looked to the ground.

He felt so empty inside.

Sasuke had never really paid the girl much attention. He had been aware of her crush on Naruto ever since they had all been in the Academy together. But he had brushed it off, placing her in the same category as Sakura in the sense that both seemed to focus most of their time on romance and not what was really important. When he had returned to Konoha, he had only ran into her a handful of times, and each time they had politely greeted each other before going their separate ways.

So why…why was she saying all these things?

Sobs began to erupt from the girl, breaking Sasuke from his train of thought. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry," she wept quietly. "There were so many times that I _wished_ you were dead…that I wished you never came back. I just thought you would hurt him again…make him cry again. But I was wrong. I've never seen Naruto so happy. You are the only one he wants. You—" She clapped a hand over her mouth, unable to continue.

She stood shakily, wiping her eyes delicately with her scarf. Quickly, she began to walk away, leaving Sasuke as he had been before, completely and utterly alone.

The raven ran a hand through his hair as he watched the girl go. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know where to go. He just felt so lost and confused, hating that he had no way to reach out to others, especially the one he cared most about.

He didn't want to see Naruto.

He couldn't bear to see the one he loved hurting so badly.

"_Uchiha._"

Sasuke froze.

That voice…

He waited, but the one that had called out to him made no move to repeat itself.

_Great_, he thought to himself bitterly. _Now I'm hearing voices in my head_.

Maybe he was actually insane.

Sasuke made his way to town, a nagging thought in his head that the voice that had said his name had sounded all too familiar, though he could not bring himself to remember why.

* * *

Sasuke walked around aimlessly. The little shop where he and Naruto had bought furniture for their apartment, the grocery store, Ichiraku ramen…everything seemed so foreign to him.

Then again, it occurred to him that everything was normal. _He_ was what had become foreign.

He sensed footsteps approaching him and he was greeted with the sight of Iruka and Kakashi walking in his direction. Both appeared solemn—Sasuke had never seen the schoolteacher look as grave as he did now.

"I heard the mission in the Valley Hidden in the Mist was a disaster."

Iruka clenched his fist and nodded slightly. "Yes…if only we had known the extent of the danger…then Tsunade never would have…" Kakashi gently placed a hand on the other man's shoulder.

Sasuke frowned.

He had not remembered the mission being a disaster.

"How's Naruto?" Kakashi asked.

Iruka shook his head and kept his mouth shut. "I don't know if he'll ever be able to recover from this."

Sasuke bit his lip so hard he could taste the tang of blood in his mouth.

The raven wanted to scream…call out…do _something_.

He kept walking.

He made no regard to Iruka or Kakashi as he passed them—what was the point, it wasn't as though they could see him anyways.

Unbeknownst to the Uchiha, a dark gray eye narrowed as it glanced quickly to the spot where he had been only moments before.

"Kakashi? Is something wrong?"

Kakashi turned around, a dull but vaguely serious expression on his face.

"Nope. Not at all."

* * *

Sasuke had finally reached his destination.

The Hokage tower.

_Maybe I can find some answers here._

He shoved his hands into his pockets and began to walk up the steps. When he approached the very top, he lifted his hand to knock on the door when he heard a bang come from inside.

"Naruto!"

Sasuke felt as though he had been paralyzed.

_Naruto was inside?_

"He's not dead!" The blonde's voice pierced the raven and shocked him. He had thought that he would never have been able to hear that voice with so much strength again.

_Yes dobe, tell them! Tell them I'm alive!_

"Naruto, you need to calm down," interrupted Tsunade, in an almost angry-like tone. "You are drunk and acting irrational. You need to accept this. _Sasuke Uchiha is dead. He is not coming back_. I will not allow my potential successor to rot away like this."

Another loud crash came from the room. Sasuke could only imagine that Naruto was either throwing things, or flipping the furniture upside down.

"B-but the body! I never saw the body!" Naruto's words were indeed slurred. Sasuke felt a pang go through him. The blonde had always loved to go out drinking with his friends. When he could, he would drag his moody lover with him—laughing boisterously no matter how small the celebration they were drinking to.

And now he was drunk for all the wrong reasons.

"The body was completely mutilated…do you really think I would put you through that, Naruto?" Tsunade's voice was soft.

"NO!"

More crashes could be heard, each one getting louder and louder.

Sasuke screwed his eyes shut. He had had enough.

A body suddenly brushed its way past Sasuke and the door to the Hokage's office was flung open.

"Shikamaru, restrain him."

A scuffle could be heard, and then came Naruto's indignant cries.

"Let go! Leggo Shikamaru or I swear to god I will beat the living shit out of you! Put me the fuck down!"

"Naruto please," Shikamaru grunted, his voice coming out in pants as he was forced to use his strength to control the hysterical blonde in front of him. "Please calm down."

When Naruto showed no signs of stopping his rampage, Shikamaru yelled out, "Hokage-sama!"

"Sedate him if you must."

Sasuke was not sure what was happening—he was too afraid to look inside—but after a few moments, there was silence. It appeared Shikamaru had won.

"Hokage—"

Tsunade sighed loudly. "I know, Shikamaru, I know. But do not question me. This is for his own safety. At this rate, he will seriously end up hurting himself or others around him."

There was a tense pause.

"Surely you must know how he feels," Shikamaru said quietly.

Tsunade made no response. After a moment, she dismissed him.

Sasuke watched as Shikamaru made his way out, carrying Naruto on his back. His chest ached knowing he was so close to the blonde, yet somehow so far. He silently watched the two retreat down the stairs before turning his attention to the door that had been left open.

The place was a wreck. Naruto had clearly set out to destroy almost every possible thing in the office. Glasses were broken; papers were strewn across the floor. Only the Hokage's desk remained untouched.

Tsunade sat at the desk, eyes closed.

Sasuke stepped inside just as Shizune approached the door.

"Hokage-sama! I…I heard the noise."

Tsunade made no motion to greet her. "Yes…it appears Naruto is still suffering." She let out a hollow laugh. "He blames me. He blames me for sending the Uchiha."

For the first time since he entered, Sasuke took a good look at the woman sitting in front of him. There was something strangely different about her…

Shizune gently closed the door behind her. "Hokage-sama, this is not your fault."

Once again, Tsunade said nothing.

"What…what should we do?" Shizune asked lightly.

The blonde woman let out another sigh and brought her hand to her forehead. "The matter at hand is complicated. Very complicated. It is a lot easier to allow Naruto to believe that Sasuke was killed in action while on his mission."

Sasuke's ears perked up.

_What is that supposed to mean_?

Tsunade continued. "He must never know the truth…if he did…"

Sasuke could feel his breath quicken. His palms began to sweat.

"The truth…" Shizune repeated slowly.

The Hokage finally opened her eyes. There was no light in them.

"Yes. That being that Sasuke Uchiha never made it to the Village Hidden in the Mist. He was killed the night he left."

* * *

_Maybe you're not even human 'cause only an angel could be so unusual._

* * *

**Random side note—I've been listening to a lot of Kalafina music recently. Check them out if you've never heard of them. Their voices are unreal.**


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